Christian Devotion With Dr Adeyemi Agbelusi

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere” (James 3:17)

Have you ever met someone who is always arguing and looking for a fight? I heard about one guy who was so argumentative he would only eat food that disagreed with him.
Wise people work at maintaining harmony. James 3:17 says that true wisdom is peace-loving. If you’re wise, you don’t antagonize people’s anger. The Bible also says in Proverbs 20:3, “Any fool can start arguments; the honorable thing is to stay out of them”.

You can only avoid arguments when you know what leads to them in the first place. Here are three causes of arguments:

  1. Comparing. Do you ever use phrases like, “You’re just like . . .” or “Why can’t you be like . . .” or “When I was your age . . .”? You’re only asking for a fight when you do.
  2. Condemning. This is where you lay on the guilt: “It’s all your fault,” “You should be ashamed,” “You always” or “You never,” “You ought to . . .” or “You shouldn’t . . .” are all unhelpful phrases. Someone said, “You can bury a marriage with a lot of little digs.” The same can be said for any other relationship
  3. Contradicting. William James once said, “The secret of wisdom is knowing what to overlook.” You have to learn to let it go! Some things are just not worth the fight.

This is a choice we all have to make in order to build and preserve our relationships and society. One every side, conflicts that are meaningless and strange are springing up especially as elections come closer. Loss of lives is on a very high scale. Nobody’s election is worth the blood of any citizen.

Homes and religious bodies have also become war-zones and anger and malice flow freely. This is not acceptable to God.
If you want to be wise in your relationships, don’t antagonize others’ anger. “A wise man controls his temper. He knows that anger causes mistakes” (Proverbs 14:29)


  • When was the last time you used wisdom to avoid or resolve a conflict recently?
  • What is a small grievance that you could choose to overlook in one of your relationships?
  • In addition to avoiding the three causes of arguments, how can you actively work to maintain harmony in your relationships?

Prayer: Lord, life is short and there is no time for malice and bitterness. Help me to overcome these issues and promote good and healthy relationships with all those around me. Make me a channel of peace and blessings. May Your mercy rest upon me in Jesus name. Amen
(C) Adeyemi Agbelusi


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